I Finally Know Why.

     So I thought it was that you wanted to take a break for a little while was that we could pass our exams and etc. But just now having one of your best friend telling me something, I finally know why. She said that you feel boring about this, because we don't have topics. Actually we can 'make" topics and talk about many many other things, just whether you want to or not.. Never mind, forget this.

Now that I know why, its like I'm seeing myself in the mirror. Back then I was the same, all my previous ex experienced the same, well, except for you. They and I talked and talk, till we got to a point of having nothing to say and she keeps finding ways to start a topic, but I wasn't interested at all. So then after a few more days I told them that I wanted to break up with them. Which I selfishly did. And they got hurt badly.. they had hated me sooo much after that!! But then now, with you, I'm the one thats creating and starting off new topics and it seems like you're the one who's not interested.. I'm really trying my best.. Again, don't feel personal, I'm only writing this to let out my feelings only, and nothing else besides that.

After 5 relationships I've been in, this was the most serious one I had, and the one that I loved the most, and not wanting it to end. Wanna know a little something? Now I know why my previous ex hated me so freaking much, it was that they got hurted badly and I was a total jerk. And now this is my first time experiencing this kind of pain. A pain that you can't heal instantly, a pain that can't be fixed physically. But amazingly, I don't hate you..at all. I just hate myself for not being a boyfriend thats good enough for you. I'm sorry...