The Feeling of Being Loved

     I forgot which movie it was.. Was it Last Song? The one with Miley Cyrus in it? I don't think so. But I'm pretty sure its a movie of Nicholas Sparks'. It was the one about this guy who didn't find love at home. [Parents or siblings.] And he went to get girls. One after the other. Till he came across this particular girl and she implied in some way that he's a 'player' because he does things to girls that he's already done to other girls. But the fact is that the guy isn't a player. Its just that he didn't find love at home. So he wanted the feeling of being loved. And that is why he went to chase girls.

Well, as that being said. This kind of relates to me. I'm tired of everything that happens at home. Less on that, just say I don't feel like I even 'exist' at home. But they're still my parents, so I got to treat them good...

From this point in my life, I've been with 5 girls. First 2 weren't that serious.. I guess. The first was when I was in 5th grade. Second was in 6th or 7th, and the third was right after the second. Then the third was when I came back to Malaysia. We didn't really hung out, we just talked and met in school. Oh yeah, and times when we were out with our friends. Then finally the 5th one, could be said as the most serious. And this would be the one that I'll relate to. 

Its like I don't care, well, I care actually. But don't 'really' react to being hurt by someone. It the feeling of love that I want. So I'll do anything for the one I love. Like treating her good and everything. Er, it just too hard to express what I'm trying to say... All it is, is that I just want to feel loved? Is it? I'm not even sure...

Hence, these days I've been day dreaming. And I dreamed a lot of things. Not just dreams. But also events, things done, things said and etc of the past times. And in conclusion, I find myself treating friends better than family. I personally have no idea why. I do love my parents. And I do love my friends. But it seems I treat my friends better. I mean, I do care about my parents, I do talk to them, I do things with them. But I don't 'express' my feelings with them. Probably I'm just scared that they'll prejudge me before I even finish telling them what I want to say. Talking about prejudge, today I was telling my parents about a new product by Philips. I started off telling them that they don't need to fry chicken anymore. Then my dad said, then how? Use air? And I said, yeah! Then my mom goes and start from there. "Don't be a fool, how is that possible?" "I've never heard such stupid thing." Blah blah blah... Then I held my feelings inside and
explained to them. I said its like a shape of a rice cooker, you put the chicken inside and some hot air would generate something and somehow get the chicken fried and crispy. And if I didn't mistaken, I think it was called, "Airfry," or something like that. Later on when I was finished explaining to them. My mom somehow seemed amazed and told me that I should had said that earlier... Now I was waiting for her to say this. Then I told her that, I tried to finished what I was saying, but before I could you started blabbing things. Right there, I think she found a side of guilt and kept quiet.

Well, anyways. This post's about feeling loved, not prejudge..

Hey! It's my first blog post from my BlackBerry!! =]