I don't know..

     So there was this dinner I had attended to tonight. It was great. I showered, got ready and my friend picked me up to her house and waited for her to shower and get ready go that later her mom could send us there. Also, I waited for my girlfriend, which she ended up coming. It was still pretty early, so the three of us chatted and took pictures. I got her a shirt that says, "L" and mine says, "OVE" =], she liked it and I was glad that she did. So then later it was time to go out, but I was still thinking about something. Something that she told me yesterday night. She said that she'll tell me today or tomorrow. And I kept asking her what, but she just wouldn't tell, and later she said she didn't wanted to ruin the dinner tonight, so she didn't wanted to tell. During the dinner, everything was great. EVERYTHING!! Well, mostly, till then it ended and we were on our friend's car heading home. I asked her what it was but she still wouldn't tell me. She said she wasn't ready to tell. These statement that she said made it suspicious. I mean, probably I'm thinking too much or something, but I really think that she wants to break up with me which I hope she wouldn't. But I just had the feeling that was what she was going to tell me later on that night or tomorrow... Then while on the car, I saw her quietly crying, at first, I thought it was some noise from the radio, so I didn't bother and I kept starring at her to see if she really was. She was facing the window on the other side so she couldn't tell when I was looking at her or not. Then later I saw her hand wiping her tears, so I bend over and asked her what happened. She kept saying nothing and nothing, but sure there was something... So then I went back to my side of the car. A moment later I heard some noise again. She was crying again. I knew she was. But she just didn't wanted to admit.. Then my friend's mom who was driving me home had already reached my home, so I had to leave, but before that, I kept looking into her eyes and something was there. I could tell she's trying to hide something from me, but she just don't want to tell me...

Then later when I got home, after a while, then I texted her asking her what happened. For three consecutive messages she said nothing with the three dots.. "..." by then I was almost definite that she was hiding something from me. Then later on she didn't reply my messages. So I called her. I called for about 20+ times constantly till she picked up. She said it was because she put her phone on silent mode, so she didn't noticed that her phone rang. She had to wait for her parents to come pick her up, so she went to the friend's house to wait. Later on when she picked up and told me that he phone was on silent and didn't noticed, I heard my friend calling her a liar, so it must've been that she knew the phone rang, but just didn't wanted to pick it up.
I kept asking her what happened, but she just wouldn't tell me. She then explained that on the car she was crying because she had a stomach ache. I was like nodding but didn't answer much because I didn't know whether to believe it or not..

The main thing is, I have a feeling she just want to tell me something. Something negative, like wanting to break up with me or something. But I didn't tell her that I thought this was going to tell me tonight or tomorrow. I just couldn't. But I'm really hoping that this isn't what she's going to tell me... Just please don't.

My Last Day of School...

     Today was my last day of school. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Happy is because of I finally get to sleep late-er and no need to face the dumb system. And somehow don't need to face the teacher =], Oh yea, and school work, and no need to rush every night sleeping late just to finish the homework so no need to get punished the next day. On the other hand, sad because I won't get to see my girlfriend everyday...=.=", I'll miss her perfume all around the room, I'll miss how she's doing her work and I sneak up from behind to grab her by the neck. =], mainly, just won't be able to see her everyday....And also can't do physical exercise with my brothers.. 

But to think positive, its a new start. Cause' I get to focus for my O level, which I need to get in college, and hopefully my girlfriend and I could continue from there. =]

RELIEF!! =D

     Remember I talked about how my girlfriend wanted to break up with me after I leave the school, because we both need to focus on passing a very important test..? Well, she changed her mind and agreed with my idea. That to continue our relationship till something happens or goes wrong, then we decide what to do. =]. She told me that it was because today, we were in my friend's mother's hair saloon and we were fooling and playing around with each other. And something there changed her mind about breaking up with me when I leave, in this case, in 2 days. But I must had done something, or she felt what I was thinking and she decided to stay with me. =]. I've been thinking about her leaving me after I leave the school for about a few weeks. And this matter has gotten be down... But I didn't show it cause' I didn't wanted her to see my face and didn't wanted to influence her and think that I'm a total jerk. But since now we could last longer or "hopefully" "forever" would be great enough. Truth is, I just can't get her off my mind and my heart beats soo fast every time I think about her...=]

What Happened...?

     I only have 3 more days of school, which is only 3 more days to see her. After these 3 days, we're going to separate or something like that. And it seems like she's happy and joyful about it, and I just don't know why. I'm here feeling sad and stuff, and worrying in the future if we could be back together or not, and she's there all happy and stuff. I don't know, she might be just saying that to make me feel better when she's in the inside sad, but I really don't know. I get it's kind of like twilight, where Edward can read everyone except for Bella. I mean, in a normal way, both of us should feel down and sad, but I just don't get it. HOW can she still be happy? I'm actually tired. But it doesn't matter, because I cherish this relationship and I don't want it to break anyhow. And I hope when we're in college, we can still continue to be together...

Time's Running Out...

     Four more days of school, and I might not see you again. Its like I'm scared and worried, and just have that feeling of missing you when I just think about it. Every time I close my eyes, all I could see is you, you and you. I start to see times we were together. How's we first met, how to did things together, how we just spend time together. And every moment just made me smile. Whether it was a good memory or a bad one. It just drew a smile to my face. And I also remembered how we almost broke up because I didn't cheer you up. I really regret that I did that. Although I had 4 ex's, but honestly and truthfully, you're the one that I didn't regret being with. Though I was your first one and you said I taught you a lot of things, but on the other hand, you taught me a lot too. And you just did things that made me hesitate to think that this was your first relationship, though I know it is. You really taught me a lot. Mostly on how to gain someone's trust. Though there are times when I made you upset or angry. But you still left a little gap for me to squish inside and cheer you up. On the other hand, I never was angry at you. Just that smile you gave me, when I was down, cheer me up. Just that I didn't mentioned it did, but it really did! Now I only have school for 4 more days, and there's a great percentage that I might not see you again. Its like every time I sit in class, I just can't concentrate on my work. I tend to turn around to look at you. And today you were sick. You're were wearing your red checker jacket to keep yourself warm. When I wanted to go to the toilet, I walked past your table and saw you laying down sleeping. That image was really cute. I wish I had a camera to take it down. Your hair was covering part of your eyes, your eyes were close to lightly. And that your cheeks were just there just that the left one was popping up, because it was pressing towards the table. And that you're lips were just closed. As I walked out, I made myself as "unhear-able" as possible because I was scared that I would wake you up. I closed the door as gently as possible, then when I came back, you're face was just there..again! And I was looking at it for a sec, but the teacher called me, so I quickly went so he wouldn't notice that you were sleeping. There were also times when I had nothing to do, and I just sat there, and I was just thinking about you. Every time we did something together, I just thought about it. Right this moment, when I'm writing this, I get this "missing" you feeling. Its like knowing that we will separate and I'm trying my best not to show that I'm weak and worried because I don't want my feelings to influence yours. I really wanna  cry, but its no point. Even if I cried, I can't fix things to how I want it to be. If I could have ONE wish, it would be to be with you...